Abigail Adams is considered by historians to be in the top three First Ladies. She is one of only two women who were mothers of a President and wives of a President. The other is Barbara Bush. Abigail was one of the best educated First Ladies relative to women of her time. She was home-schooled and took advantage of her father’s big library. She became a voice for women’s education.
She and John had a very strong marriage. He treated her as almost an equal and appreciated all she did in running the family while he was away doing his revolution thing. They missed each other during those times apart and kept contact by writing over a thousand letters. John valued her advice. One exchange of letters has become famous. In a letter written on March 31, 1776, Abigail makes a case for laws mandating fair treatment of women. At the time, women were basically vassals to their lordly husbands. Women should not have to deal with tyrannical husbands. She threatened that women would rebel if they weren’t remembered in lawmaking. Don’t give men unlimited power. At the time, women could not vote, but Abigail was not calling for the right to vote. She was calling for male legislators to take into account women when they passed laws.
“I long to hear that you have declared an independency. And, by the way, in the new code of laws which I suppose it will be necessary for you to make, I desire you would remember the ladies and be more generous and favorable to them than your ancestors. Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.”
How did her liberal husband respond? He mocked her demand and her threat. However, given their relationship, he was probably being playful. It was probably one of those “oh, you mean you were being serious?” moments. Adams did agree that women needed to be treated fairly. But the right to vote was not part of that. Adams was interested in giving more men the right to vote. At the time only landowners could vote. This meant that only 16% of men could vote. The goal should be giving more men the right to vote. Women would have to wait.
“As to your extraordinary code of laws, I cannot but laugh. We have been told that our struggle has loosened the bands of government everywhere,” he wrote to her on April 14, 1776. “But your letter was the first intimation that another tribe more numerous and powerful than all the rest were grown discontented. This is rather too coarse a compliment but you are so saucy, I won’t blot it out….Depend upon it, we know better than to repeal our masculine systems. Although they [laws favoring men] are in full force, you know they are little more than theory.”
While Abigail was not successful in getting women much protection and fair treatment in legislation, she did give voice to the concerns of women. Her husband listened, but the other Founding Fathers were not so enlightened. Her letter remains an example of what would become a rallying cry for future generations of women.
https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/abigail-adams-urges-husband-to-remember-the-ladies
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abigail_Adams
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