John, besides being a rotten king, was a terrible human being.  He attempted to sleep with any woman who caught his eye, even the wives of his nobles.  Once while visiting the castle of Eustace de Vescy, he noticed that Eustace’s wife was beautiful and John decided he needed to sleep with her.  However, the wife had a spotless reputation and was unlikely to go along with the idea.  Later, when John and Eustace were alone, John professed his admiration for a ring Eustace had acquired when he had gone to the East to participate in a Crusade.  John asked to borrow it so he could have a copy made.  John then sent the ring in a note to the wife.  The note, supposedly sent by Eustace, told the wife to meet him in a house in London for a night of passion.  The wife found this odd note suspicious so she told her husband who quickly figured out John’s scheme.  Eustace hired a prostitute to take his wife’s place.  In the darkness of the night, John never knew the difference and thought he had slept with Eustace’s wife without him knowing it.  Later, at a banquet, John decided to taunt the supposedly cuckolded Eustace.  Stroking his beard, John said to Eustace, and the crowd of nobles:  “Your lady is a delightful companion in the darkness of the night.”  Silence fell across the hall as the nobles waited for the embarrassed Eustace’s response.  Eustace:  “How does your majesty know?”  John:  “By personal experience, of course.”  Eustace:  “No, my lord, it was not my wife.  Sometimes, a prostitute is encountered in quite unexpected places.”  Eustace was forced to leave the country for a while to escape the king’s anger.  He eventually returned to join the rebellion of the barons that overthrew John.

                –  maroon 18

Categories: Anecdote

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